Driving Daggers into My Heart

Driving Daggers into My Heart                April 25, 2006 (Revised October 6, 2013)

My pain is one my compatriots cannot see,
And yet still remains hidden from me.
All I can muster is to steady my ship
And cross the raging channel's waters
As a venerable old clipper.
None comprehend my despair,
And only turn a blind eye to its grasp.
They cannot see the twelve rounds
I constantly contend amid Life's sweet science.
The Holy Spirit hath witnessed much,
Yet cares not how my spirit dies.
The pain of my heart is hidden;
'Tis been cloaked with daggers:
Mauling my spirit,
 Impaling me till cold,
Yet all ye do is look for more.
You say turn to God as I suffer,
That His Grace shall carry me through;
Yet I defy your naive declarative,
For if He shall heal me,
Why bother He to kill? 

Never before have I known a love,
'Tis a void so deep, 
'Tis buried in my Abyss:
Of my inner Lost Sea
Of invisible amours,
Where Love should be,
But has never been before.
Demons hath possessed my mind
For many a decade
And countless its days,
And perhaps for Eternity.
The Puppeteer continues
To impale me insane,
With his daggers for Posterity,
And they are winning each day.
They stole my piece to which I most loved,
And forever I shall remain
Impervious to love.

My Lost Sea's waters
Are consumed with pain.
My life remains hidden,
Yet I see its demands:
It continuously insists
My soul pay a tithe,
And forever it drowns,
As forever it shall.
My heart must be seized
And gripped to be caressed,
To extinguish the burdens
From the daggers He hath wrought.
I must cease fulfilling
His demands tonight,
Lest my future be a trail
Beset by tears.

'Till the golden day
When God declares "Mercy!"
I shall continue having daggers
 Driven into my arterial Abyss.