I Don't Want to Waste Away

I Don't Want to Waste Away                                        December 10, 2006

Standing along the street corner,
Smoking a cigarette, waiting for the other shoe to drop
While I fade away in spirit because the flame died.
Who said love was nothing when it buoyed me up,
When it made me high in ways weed couldn't do?
She had me riding high up in the sky,
And life just seemed to be as sweet as pie
Until she decided to say it was time our love should die.

I don't want to waste away to nihilism.
I don't want to fall beneath the cracks of suppression
Where the sun can't shine and melt the ice.
I don't want to fade to oblivion,
And I don't want to vaporize into thin air,
Where what once was is now suddenly no more.

Some people talk of how they're drunk with passion,
But I'm a man experiencing sobering rejection
From the woman who once was by my side.
I still love her, without a doubt,
But she apparently claims she has it all figured out,
And now can't seem to find me anywhere in her heart.

I feel like I'm fading away to a dark, dark place,
To someplace where it seems I can't be found,
To the ends of the earth, the nether regions of the cold.
I feel like I'm entering the wasteland of lost dreams,
Where pain dies and becomes mired in a quagmire
Of questioning whether the feeling is part of the equation.
This is all happening fast, and I can't keep up.
My head's spinning around like a little kiddy top.
I don't want to waste away, but she's got such a hold on me.