Trip to the Shrink

Trip to the Shrink                                         November 22, 2005

Another day is ahead,

Another tough day on the job.

My boss is coming down on me hard,

So hard, I think I shall scream.

That famous Dutchman, his name Van Gogh,

Painted that very scene,

Then proceeded to cut off his ear. 

How gross indeed!

Hopefully, that won't happen to me.

I guess that's why people see shrinks,

To keep their sanity intact.

I'll fork over my co-pay to see, 

And that's fine by me.

"The Doctor is in," the sign ominously reads,

And I'm all ready, so very pumped.

The Doc sees me in, says, "Hi. How've ya been?"

And I say, "Well Doc, things have been kinda crazy."

He replies by simply saying, "You've come to the right place."

"The Analyst to the Stars," so he makes the claim,

Grills me real hard, asks me stuff regarding my childhood,

And at the end, I feel totally relieved.

Then, I walk up to the receptionist,

Tell her all this was spit, that I want my $24 back,

That all this was shit. Yeah. I told them that.

She was argumentative. Instead of a refund,

They scheduled me another appointment.

How's that for service? Assholes.

They're the crazy ones, in fact.