The Rabbit is the Biggest Whore (But She's One, Too)

The Rabbit is the Biggest Whore (But She's One, Too)                January 13, 2006

I'm a man of the world,

Of Mother Nature's breath,

Seeking the knowledge of the world

That will provide me with skills.

I once loved a woman,

Her name was Nadine,

And she was so beautiful,

But had a closet full of skeletons.

Skeletons have a way

Of making themselves apparent,

And hers came knockin' on my door.

They came to me, said,

"Listen, Johnny P., the lady, she ain't clean."

Now, I've learned in my time

The rabbit is the biggest whore,

But this one, you know, she's one, too.

Women often accuse us men

Of being salacious and lascivious,

Of being negligent to their needs,

But I swear, I have always

Put my best into Nadine,

Always fulfilling her each and every desire.

I don't know what else I can do

Short of flipping her the bird and walking off.

Nadine always complains

Of headaches, stomachaches,

As I'm heading out of the house,

And when I offer to stay home to nurse,

She just says go forth, and she'll call a friend.

Well, Dirty Dick just across the hall

Always seems to be peeping around,

And when I return, he's walking out my front door,

And ol' Nadine has this shit-eatin' smile.

Now, I've always been told by my elders

That the rabbit is the biggest whore,

But I confronted Nadine, said to her,

"...but you're one, too."

Apparently, I have trouble

Picking the right ladies

To associate and with whom I fall in love.

She hurt me in more ways than I realize,

And though they say the rabbit's the biggest whore,

I'd swear on a Holy Bible that it's Nadine.